Talk about a wasted day...
Would you recognize depression if you saw it?
Is it something you could write about - or maybe draw it?
Folks often tell me to “snap out of it” or “don’t have a fit”
but it takes more than THAT to overcome this shit.
Friday morning’s hesitation to arise;
My bed is ideal for relaxation.
Nearly noon; I’ve come to the realization
that I missed taking Thursday's medication.
Depression raging, my observation’s
that even one day without psych medication,
depriving myself of a day’s allocation
has now become my pre-occupation.
Instead of weeding my yard’s vegetation,
I focus on every indication
that I, in pure desperation,
have reached a new low: stagnation.
Where is my former dedication
to work out of doors? Edification
to strive for my planned migration
from indoors to a garden location.
The frequent recurring indication -
that nothing serves as inspiration -
when I get this way. Such frustration
to waste a whole day in self-recrimination.
Despite the clear day - no precipitation -
becomes a true revelation. Where digging in dirt
was once met with wild anticipation -
it’s now Null and Void; a cancellation.
So what will I do for recreation?
It would not be a wild accusation
to call me lazy. Verification
is easy to admit; a confirmation.
Now half-past three, my affirmation
Is: Today resembles a stay-cation;
by going nowhere plus de-celeration,
I've reached Couch Potato Station.
It all comes down to my avocation
(or hobby) of writing; a transformation
from this sloth-like permutation
to a dedicated occupation.
When depression yields self-recrimination,
it's hard to find the determination
to move past this ennui situation
and seek much-needed motivation.
Until I reach the point of illumination -
that I wasted a whole day - reaps indignation.
Informs me through this notification
that TIME, once lost, equals NEGATION.
